Fear This

So what is fear, you ask.  I believe that we all know in the back of our minds, what fear is, so I believe that a more suitable question would be; What is my individual interpretation of fear.  My personal meaning of fear is probably not unlike anyone else’s on a general level.  A fear is anything we will not do, say, be around, touch, hold, see, or have done to us for risk of the consequence, whether or not that consequence is true, or just.  in essence, if we have a fear of spiders, (which is a common fear) then I will not be around, touch or see them because I might get bitten.

Sometimes the consequence to our fear might not be as apparent.  for instance one student has a fear of holes or porous surfaces (trypophobia).  This probably has some freudian relation to childhood or something, but the truth is that, we don’t know where this fear comes from.  (or maybe she does)

I don’t have any obvious fears other than the fear of confrontation, although it is not a large fear.  I can still, if my life depended on it, overcome that fear for a minute to defend myself.

So for my assignment, I want to remove all the desks from the class room.  The reason I want to do this is two-fold.
1. I am a people pleaser.  this is due to the fact that I have a fear of people not likeing me.  I tend to do what others want even if it means that I suffer a bit.  I want to take the seating out of the class room to prove to myself that I can do something on my own accord regardless if it makes me unpopular to others.
2.  I think that people are afraid to speak up in this class about there thoughts and projects etc. because it is more comfortable for them to just sit there and be an observer without particibating.  Sitting at the desk is a way to, sort of hide and remain unseen.  Eccept for the fact that these chairs roll around, sitting does not promote action and I think that if they stood for a while, it would encourage them to be out of their comfort zone and actually do something rather than observe.

the reaction I will get from the class will be disappointment, and confusion at first.  but not at me, because they will not know it was me behind the project.  however when it is revealed to them why it happened, I think they will understand and be OK with it.

After the fact, I noticed a few people curse me, jokingly of coarse.  One girl in class actually said that it sparked an OCD of her’s.  she said that seating and finding seating in the right spot is something she can’t help but do when she walks into a room.  (those weren’t her exact words but that is what I got from it).  in taking out the desks, she was forced to sit on the floor in a spot where she did not pick.  Other people complained about sore asses.  I also got a few people saying that it was a good thing to have them sitting on the floor for whatever reason.

I think that my second reason for taking the chairs out worked.  by sitting on the floor, we were able to speak to each other, without all the boundaries and restrictions that the desk may give us.  I feel like it was more of an intimate class.

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About Benjamin Masbaum

I am a student of Media Arts and Science in the Informatics program at IUPUI. I am fascinated with music, motion art, and the affiliation o
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